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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
Spying among friends is not acceptable. – German Chancellor Angela
Merkel, responding to news reports about CIA intelligence collection
against Germany (and after checking with German intelligence to verify
the reporting was true) ●
To attend a State Department briefing is to realize that the Inuit
aren’t the only people with a lot of words for snow. ● Letter To My Younger Self. Dear younger self: Every letter you
write to yourself is a letter to your younger self, dumbass. ● They say if you can count your money, you
don’t have a billion dollars. Hey, I can’t count my money! ● There's pretty much only one way to duct-tape
a cat's skin back on it.
Executive Intelligence Summary
Anyone aware of
any mental health? Just asking since it’s May.
Contrary to rumor, CIA did not write the song ‘Wind of Change’ –
though we did write the lyrics to ‘I’m Too Sexy.’ ● ‘Three-body problem’ refers to disposal where
I work. ● Each of us possesses an inner spiritual
compass. But not everyone’s needle is magnetized. ● And then I go and spoil it all By saying somethin' stupid like ‘Somethin’’ ● I wrote myself a motivational e-mail
challenging myself to be more authentic. It got sent to my spam folder.
Executive Intelligence Summary
You say ‘intrusive thought’ like there’s some other kind.
A conspiracy implies conspirators. Conspirators
imply meetings. Meetings imply coffee and donuts. Follow the caffeine
and pastry, people. ● As I dove, did a shoulder roll, and
high-crawled to the safety of an adjacent alleyway, I knew for certain:
that thermonuclear missile had been meant for me.
– Ops report ● “Reath Ro Ramerica! Reath Ro Risrael!” –
Dog in Iran rescued 47 hours after earthquake ●
“I’m
not a robot” I click robotically. ● If this bed of mine told everything it knew,
it would mostly talk about temperature control, motion isolation and
lumbar support.
Executive Intelligence Summary
No phoenix without ashes. No ashes without fire. No fire with Smokey the
Bear.
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
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